What is a beanie? It’s a knit cap for your bean. Your noggin, noodle, head. In Canada it’s a tuque, or a toque, because they speak both French and English up there. Down south it’s called a toboggan. Do they even have snow?
In other places it’s a knitted cap, a skully, a snow hat, and a whole lot more names that make no sense at all. Tosses cap?
In the Navy it’s black, called a watch cap, and has nothing to do with keeping time. You “stand watch”, which means staying awake, and watching the dark, and storm-tossed sea. For whales, submarines, and men overboard.
Don’t confuse beanies with beanie babies. These were a passing fad and investment opportunity from the 90’s. Plush toys stuffed with plastic beans, and during the craze there were fist fights in stores, and one called Princess the Bear sold for half a million bucks. None of them ever wore a hat of any kind, let alone a beanie. Go figure. On the other hand, baby beanies are the pint-sized knit caps newborns wear in the maternity ward. Nurses know a warm head is a healthy head, and so should you.
Our beanies are knit from the finest microfiber polyester, specially manufactured to perform flawlessly in any weather. Hot or cold, wet or dry, the miracle fiber soaks up sweat, then wicks it away, to keep you high and dry. Like our durags, our beanies come in a wide selection of colors, from navy blue to hot pink, so there’s a color for every mood. And did we mention size? One size fits all, because the secret is in the stretchy design. From ears nipped by Jack Frost to a Bad Hair Day, our beanies meet the challenge.
How to Wear a Beanie
The best place for a beanie is atop your bean. Cradling your cranium. Second best is in your coat pocket, so you’ll never leave the house without it. Don’t be left out in the cold, because you couldn’t find your beanie during the morning rush.
A cold head can lead to a head cold, and nobody wants that. The sniffles are for romantic movies and joyous reunions, after the masks come off. And sneezing sends the wrong message. Our message is simple, We offer the best beanies at wholesale prices. Whether you order just a trio for yourself, or a whole dozen for family and friends, you’ll save big over the big box stores.
Today women mostly wear hats at the Kentucky Derby, or happen to be the Queen Of England. And Men that dare to wear a snappy fedora are laughed at for Indiana Jones cosplay. Enter the beanie, all-purpose headpiece. Roll the bottom up three times, into a thick band, and it’s called a fisherman’s beanie. Its street name is the Single Cuff.
When hunter’s wear one the go-to color is dayglo orange, so other nimrods don’t mistake them for a two-legged deer. You pull it down tight, over your ears, and above your eyebrows. When it’s cool it keeps you warm. When it’s warm it makes you cool. Fleek, fly, down, or whatever today’s word for stylish happens to be.
Tip: the thicker the cuff the tighter the beanie. Good to know if you have a small head, or no hair.